This post is probably going to be updated pretty frequently, because so far, it seems there are a lot of things French people don't give a shit about.
1. French people don't give a shit about people sleeping past 6 a.m. They wake up fucking early. I don't know why the fuck they get up at 6 a.m. because it seems to me like they just bang around their hotel rooms and yell at each other, or go sit in a cafe and drink coffee for 3 hours, which seems like things that could be postponed. Maybe they get up so early so they can have the sufficient amount of time per day to yell at each other and sip cafe au lait. I have no fucking idea.
2. French people don't give a shit if you're in a hurry. They are never hurrying. In fact, I bet there is not even a French word for "hurry". Maybe they are just really excellent at time management and are never in a rush because they've just coordinated everything perfectly. But I suspect it's because they really just don't give a shit if they're late.
3. French people don't give a shit if you're lost. I was wandering around with a map all day trying to find stuff and not one single person even paused to act like they wanted to help. I wasn't lost, just navigating, but if I was still in the US and someone saw I had a map out, you can bet about ten people would've stopped and asked if they could help.
4. French people don't give a shit if you speak French or not. Whether you do or you don't, they will continue to speak in French, even after you've made it clear you don't understand. I'm not saying everyone should speak English, I'm just saying if I didn't even ask you for anything and you come up and start babbling in French to me and I say "I'm sorry, I don't speak French" in both French and English, maybe you should stop speaking French to me. French people don't give a shit if you understand them. I think they just like to hear themselves talk.
5. French people don't give a shit about dog shit. Seriously, they let their dogs shit anywhere. In the middle of the sidewalk, dog shit. In the middle of an outdoor cafe, dog shit. In the doorway of a hotel entrance, dog shit. In the US, if your dog shits in public, you better at least pretend like you're going to pick it up or I promise at least a few people will scold you. French people don't give a shit if another French person doesn't pick up dog shit. They just step around it. This is a skill I have yet to master, as I stepped in dog shit twice yesterday, never suspecting it may be laying right in the middle of the sidewalk. I have yet to see a French person step in any. It's like they have a 6th sense for dog shit. Maybe that's why they don't care; they know they're not going to step in it anyway, so why should they give a shit where dogs shit?
6. French people don't give a shit about cancer. Their cancer, your cancer, their dog's cancer, it doesn't matter. French people smoke almost every minute of the day, in any situation, in any location. They don't give a shit if you're sitting next to them on a park bench; they will blow it right in your direction. I've seen French people holding babies, chain smoking right next to their little faces, and I can almost see their tiny pink lungs turning black from all the secondhand nastiness.
7. French people don't give a shit if you don't want to get hit on. By this, I mean, French men will hit on you, right after you spend 8 hours on a plane, haven't showered for 12, look like total balls and are half asleep. They will hit on you as you walk by as fast as you can, head down, eyes averted, clearly attempting not to be hit on. They will hit on you regardless of your behavior, your appearance, your attitude. French dudes do not give a shit if you want to get hit on or not, they are going to hit on you like they're Chris Brown and you just threw their car keys out of the window on the way to the awards show. If you don't get this reference, watch more TMZ.
8. French people DO NOT give a shit about lines. If you're in line somewhere in Paris, expect to get budged, pushed out of the way, or just stepped all over. It doesn't matter who was there first, it only matters who is the most aggressive. I know this because I went shopping today. At first, I thought people were just confused about where the line ended. Then I realized, they really just don't give a shit. Survival of the fittest, mon amie.
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